From Sand to Pearl

big dreams. big heart. big world. little me.

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I love this wedding… put it in Wisconsin, in a barn, and photoshop Jason and I in there = perfect.

I have had pretty much no time for wedding planning lately.  I’m ever so grateful to have a job that is challenging everyday and that I totally enjoy doing, but admittedly that is ALL i have been doing lately… whether I like it or not.  Every once in a while I remember that I’m getting married next year and I make an effort to do some research, etc towards that especially special day.

Truth be told… being engaged is pretty amazing.  There is a security and awesomeness about it that puts all the other things at a calm second place in my mind.  More than the engagement is the trust we have for each other and specifically our commitment to our relationship… today, tomorrow, etc.  It is so heart warming to feel like things are off kilter for a day or two… not forever.  I’ve never been in a better, more secure place.  I am grateful for it everyday.  Sometimes I need to actively remind myself of that… do a little pro/con list.  The pro list is always far greater than the con list, and honestly the con list always seems a little petty and selfish in comparison to the awesomeness that is the pro list.  That is how I know that “this” is forever, for real and for awesome.

Admittedly it has been a rough couple months.  There has been the tug of war that is co-parenting (which in reality is more like triple parenting).  It is something that is both so important and also a very personal and sensitive topic for all involved.  It is hard to give/take advice without it seeming to be a very personal item.  It has really shined a light on weaknesses and strengths of both Jason and I.

It is a great learning experience, however frustrating it might seem at times.  I have always admired parents (single, mixed, split, alien, mammal, vegetable)… but lately I have an all new appreciation for parents who both keep their sanity and ability to consistently and fairly discipline their children.  I also have an appreciation for the days when you would just remove a finger when you weren’t obeyed.  Like I said… it’s been a rough month.

I ran across this in an article:

Sometimes difficult is the return from the “other home” where rules are different, or are non-existent. It can help to think of this as a “re-entry time” for all involved. There is a direct relationship between the degree to which children feel in control of themselves and their behavior. When they have opportunity for some control there is less likelihood of misbehavior.

So true!  I know that we have such an influence on the children around us and the adults they become.. sometimes the sheer weight of this information, responsibility, opportunity is overwhelming!  I want to do what is right, however that is sometimes a giant grey area.

So, all of that digresses from my start of this post which referred to a wedding post.  I think that is fitting since most of my life currently digresses from my any focus I might have on our future wedding date.  Hopefully by winter/next spring I’ll be devoting all of my free time to making sparkly things for our special day.. otherwise I will be reaching out to all of my friends for a wedding intervention.

Wish me luck!

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