30!

So, in 3 months… Well slightly less than 3 months… I’ll be 30. This is not where I thought I’d be in my life.

I was never one of those girls that planned weddings or children or other fairytale stories for my future. I was more realistic. I knew that it wasn’t all kittens and fields of daisies.

That being said, somewhere in the back of my mind I thought I’d be married by now. I’m not sure when I decided that. But recently it’s been knawing at me. Just little bits of bothersome knawings reminding me that I’m not quite where I thought I’d be.

I’m not saying where I am is right or wrong. I just made some basic assumptions based on the people around me and the time frame’s they were on.

I think I’m decently on track as far as my career. I don’t feel at all disappointed where I’m at. How could I?  I love my job, my boss and I click, my coworkers are all good souls and most importantly I never think going to work is taking away from my life. I’m learning everyday. I’m gaining experience and growing friendships. So, I’m content there.

I also thought I’d have a house by now. I’m to the point where I don’t want to buy a house until I’m married (dependent on the assumption someone will actually marry me one day). I feel like buying a house now and especially with this failing housing market, is just financial suicide. So, ill continue to rent. Sometimes I feel like I should be living somewhere much nicer since I’m an almost 30-something.

Financially, I definitely feel like I am lacking there. I should probably be more focused on saving money and creating buffers for myself in the future. My recent seperation from my old job is a prime example of why it is important to plan ahead. No matter how spineless you think someone is… They just might grow a pair one day and fire you. Preparation is key.

Car.  My Nissan has treated me well. I’ve had it for about 8 years now. It’s probably about a year away from giving up on life… But hopefully it will wait long enough for me to work on that financial buffer I mentioned earlier.

I am probably more confident of my looks than I’ve ever been, but along with being confident came being much more aware. I’m confident, but much more sensitive about it. Fluxuations bother me. I notice, I feel like other people notice.

My biggest insecurity, the thing I hate the most about my physical appearance… Is my teeth. I hate it so much that I rarely even talk about it. I had a full set of braces during middle school. They were completely straight until about 19 when my wisdom teeth came in and were impacted. They shoved all my teeth together and my already crowded mouth gave way and made room however it saw fit. Its not something I can fix quickly or cheaply. Its something I will probably address one day. My mouth is so crowded now that I’d have to have 4 teeth pulled and full braces again. I’m sure most people can imagine the anxiety that would come with that.

I’ve come to the realization that I will not meet (or recognize) my soul mate in time to do anything about my 30th birthday. This has kind of set me back a couple notches. I feel like I’m depreciating in value as time goes on. I worry that this will detrimentally affect the stock that I’ll have to pick from. Yup, I referred to men as stock. I’m sticking with it.

I think this turning 30 thing needs an attitude adjustment on my end.

To be continued…

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One thought on “30!

  1. I think you are a beautiful, wonderful woman who has a TON to offer. I blame the lack of stock in your life right now is due to the economy! lol
    Keep your head up, stop looking, and some stock may fall into your lap.

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