So many things have a good and a bad side. After giving it some random thought today, I have come up with some notable things about being in a relationship… and not.
- No victims of PMS
- No judging on amount/color/price of shoe purchases
- Ice cream for breakfast? Lucky Charms for dinner? No problem
- No wierdo extended family… except your own
- Less xmas presents for other people (more for you)
- No misc mouths available to eat the last of your favorite snack
- Never need to shut a door for privacy
- No considering someone else when stumbling around in the morning like a blind drunk elephant (pre-coffee obviously)
- Dancing sans clothes to radio between the bedroom and bathroom while considering if it’s a dress kinda day (leg shaving motivation needed).
- Your schedule is the only one that matters. If you are running around shooting people on xbox at 2:30am… no one is there to out you the next day
- Don’t have to trust that someone is telling the truth, not sleeping with other people, or stealing garden gnomes (this is a serious problem… look it up)
- Any kind of intestinal problem is handled better alone (fact)
- No one to witness the actual aftermath of a night out. “Me? Psssh, I was barely hungover at all” — Flash back to the day before where you were laying naked on the bathroom floor with a popsicle and promising whatever higher power was listening that you would never drink again
- No one to judge your random switches from country music, to rap to heavy metal angry girl music… all within 15 minutes. It’s not called multiple personalities… it’s having a variety of interests and pursuing them with 72% more energy than the average bear
- When you spend an afternoon in denial about something… no one will be there to swoop in with their captain obvious cape and shatter your fantasy land of awesomeness
- Someone to squish bugs (pretty much a MUST… if you won’t kill bugs… cross yourself off the list now)
- Heavy Lifting: Check
- Someone to stand next to when you wear the shirt “I’m with stupid –>”
- A fall guy when you fart in a crowd “honey… really?” <insert eye daggers from him and uncontrollable giggles from her>
- Automatic dinner/wedding/boring event date. Whether they wanna be or not. Misery loves company (fact)
- Someone that thinks of you randomly and smiles (and hopefully buys you a candy bar)
- Someone to argue with. It’s fun. Making up is better
- Someone to throw under the bus when your family teases you about something for the 80 billionth time.
- Hugs. x2
- Winks (if you couldn’t wink… you’d find this important also… it’s hot)
- The person that you can share an inside joke with and it’s not considered rude
- When they have seen you in the previously mentioned hungover birthday-suite situation after a night out and they still choose to acknowledge they know who you are to strangers… that’s a keeper
- Someone to eat the last of the cheese curds… because you can’t waste them, but if you eat one more… you will actually grow a breaded layer of skin and become a cheese curd. This is Wisconsin… that would be like sending a lamb to the slaughter.
- Automatic sporting event companion (drink, cookie and hot dog fetcher… hey… everything has its price)
- You know… the other thing