So, I begin my Saturday with a really nice country drive back to my house. I grab a coffee and a piece of banana bread at Starbucks. I had earlier made a joke that I would make out with the Starbucks person because I was so excited about getting coffee. I followed it up with, “last time it was an old lady though”. Sure enough, two ladies working. I ALMOST had them pose for a picture with me… but they just didn’t seem like they would find that humorous. Plus, by the time I got done explaining the whole situation and posing for the picture, it would have lost its luster.
I get home, drink my whole cup of coffee and promptly take a 3 hour nap. Glad coffee works so well for me :) I then start getting ready for my day/night. Blues Fest is at Dodgeville that evening, so I get ready and throw on a fun little outfit. I know that my cousin, Carmen is working the beer tent from 3-5 and I’d like to see her. I leave my house after a 3 mile walk around 1:00.
As I start driving I notice that my phone is neurotically taking pictures of nothing. Like a button is stuck. Then I notice that it looks like some moisture got in the phone. Well ugh. On the way out of town I stop at a US Cellular store. After a long and obnoxious call with the Insurance people for the phone I learn a valuable lesson… Do NOT tell the truth when you get moisture damage. Sweat is not covered. I should have said I fell into a creek while I walked, or was attacked by a madman who sprayed me down for no reason, or I entered (and obviously won) a wet t-shirt contest. NOT… I went walking with my phone and it was so hot (and I’m so outta shape) that I worked up enough of a sweat to permanently damage my phone. Neat.
So I buy a new phone… well a new, slightly used phone. The US Cellular rep offers to loan me a flip phone for about 3 days while I decide what to do. I explain to him that is unacceptable… “But, how else will I be able to update my friends on the discontent about this situation if I do not have access to facebook on my Phone?” He stares at me… I stare back at him. I win the impromptu staring contest and take my phone and go about my day.
After all this I still have not had lunch, but decide that Mom always has nummy stuff at her house. I love my mom’s house. It always has snacks, soda and a clean bed for me if I need it. Ho Ho’s and Diet Pepsi’s are good for the soul. So is my Mommy. Anyways, I get to her house finally. No one is around. I immediately grab a soda, a cheese triangle and a bag of tostitos and start stuffing my face full of chips and cheese. I’m sure if someone saw me they would think I was practicing for a “who can stuff the most chips in the face in 30 seconds”… contest.
My Mom calls my cell phone… here’s how the conversation goes:
- Mom: Where are you?
- Ingrid: At your house eating your food. Where are you?
- Mom: Oh, I’m with all the girls (aunts and cousins) at the Cook’s Room downtown (dodgeville). We just got done eating.
- Ingrid: Well, that’s cool since I’m practically starving. Thanks for the heads up. I’m going back to eating your food now.
- Mom: Well now I feel bad. Come down here and we will sit with you while you eat lunch.
- Ingrid: Fine, see you in a minute. Did you know I had to buy a new phone today because boob sweat isn’t covered under cell phone insurance??? DUMB!!
- <My step Dad rounds the corner and looks like he’d rather shove a screw driver into his eardrum than hear anymore of this conversation and looks relieved that I’m going out immediately again>
I finally make it to the lunch that I wasn’t invited to with the people who didn’t invite me. This is how that conversation goes…
- Ingrid: Hey guys
- Everyone else: Hey Ingrid! We were wondering when you would get here!
- Ingrid: That’s funny, since I wasn’t invited.
- Everyone else: Well, we were WAITING for you to call!
- Ingrid: <stares at them all incredulously> Are you serious right now?
- Everyone else: Yeah, well we kept wondering why you hadn’t called. We kept checking our phones and saying “I wonder why Ingrid hasn’t messaged any of us yet”
- I want to make a note that there is my Mom, 2 Aunts and 2 Cousins… all of which have my cell phone number. All of which are checking their phones for a message from me. YET… no one actually sends me a message. But I digress.
- Ingrid: Alright well I’ll get a menu.
- Mom: Cool, I’ll sit with you… but then I’m going home to take a nap… It’s been a long day of shopping! We started at 10:00am!
- Ingrid: <incredulous AGAIN> Where was the invitation for the shopping? What the hell is going on here today?
- Mom: Well, great… now I feel bad. Wait, wait… I’ll pay for your lunch! Is that better? Have I made amends?
- Ingrid: Well, I FRICKEN GUESS SO.
- Mom: You’re going to blog about this… aren’t you.
- Ingrid: Hell yeah, I am.