Me.

I like leather saddles, white daisies, colorful pictures, thoughts and sayings of affirmations and goodness.  I love a good sunset, sunrise and thunderstorm.  I prefer my life to have theme songs.  I enjoy reminding myself to stop and appreciate the world around me.  I wish I did it more often. 

I am fascinated by people and why they do the things they do.  I wonder what their fears are, what makes them tick, what they get excited about, what their childhood was like and what they value in life. 

I procrastinate and work better under pressure, usually a result of the procrastination.  I am a quick study and can work circles around other people.  However this leads to spans of tedium and boredom in between projects.

I love deeply and passionately.  I don’t wade in the shallow end, I run full speed down the diving board, take a big jump and dive right in.  No lifeguards, no arm floaties, and I sometimes lose my bikini bottoms on the dive in.  However, it’s my preferred way of doing the things I’m passionate about.

I consider myself a good person, but often think I should find time to give back more to the community and those who are less fortunate than me.  I open the doors for people and like to think that karma will find its way around to me next time my hands are full and I’m walking up to a non-automatic door.

I’m the person that finds a wallet full of money, and while I can think of great things to do with that money, I find the owner and give it back expecting nothing in return.  I do it because it’s the right thing to do. 

I am honest and am the first one to admit I made a mistake.  My Dad taught me that people will have more respect for you if you can admit you made a mistake and take corrective action than if you try to hide behind it or through omission ignore it.

I am hands down my own worst critic.  I always think I should be better at whatever it is that I am doing.  I suffer from a generalized anxiety disorder and much to my chagrin; it gets the better of me sometimes.  My goal has always been not to allow my anxiety to keep me from doing the things that are important to me.

I find comfort in warm, soft, snuggly things.  I am moved by the smallest gifts because they generally had the most thought behind them.  I enjoy really serious conversations that reveal my true character as well as the person I’m conversing with.  I also enjoy conversations with 8 month olds that just involve crossed eyes and wagging tongues.

I despise gossip and judgmental behavior.  Everyone is guilty to some extent, but every person out there has something going on in their life that no one knows about.  Judging everyone against any single measure of success or popularity is unfair and unjust.  I believe in respecting other people and receiving respect.  I believe a smile can change someone’s day.

I truly believe that while we all tend to single ourselves out and believe that no one else knows how we feel, there are millions of us living in this world.  When I look around and think that not only does someone out there know exactly how I’m feeling, but they also could be in a far worse situation with no support or tools to see their way through… I chastise myself for being so naïve.

Sometimes I am so painfully me that the only thing I can do is smile, grab some ice cream and giggle.  When I am full of emotions that are trying to tumble out of me… I dance, squeal, announce in one fashion or another my presence.

I do some of my best writing when I am emotionally charged.  Happy or angry… I am fueled by the desire to release the tension of the mounting supply of emotionally energy from my heart, through my brain, to my fingers and onto the keyboard.  There is something so deeply fulfilling to finding that moment in the day when all those connections are open and out everything flows.  Impossibly what started as images and feelings makes its way through muscles and tendons and technology to be words and sentences.

Pretty nifty.

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3 thoughts on “Me.

  1. Ingrid, I love your writings. I believe you could do something big with them one day and I hope you find your way towards that. Thanks for sharing. Hope you had a nice Christmas. Love, Aunt Sandy

  2. In my magic life, I am giving you theThe Nobel Prize in Literature
    (“The said interest shall be divided into five equal parts, which shall be apportioned as follows: /- – -/ one part to the person who shall have produced in the field of literature the most outstanding work in an ideal direction …”) for your wearing your heart on your sleeve and the Pulitzer Prize for your exceptional writings on all the things we ALL feel so deeply in our heart and minds but only YOU can so ingeniously put down into words.
    You are BRILLIANT!!!
    LY&MYB&B!!!
    AD

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