Plan A, cont’d

** 1/31/12

Reading the stories of other people who had little to no confidence in themselves as they started their writing careers, gave her hope.  Misery loves company after all.   After being told for years that her knack with words and humor could lead her to a career in writing, she had decided to give it some serious thought.  Why now?

Maybe it was the mundane day-to-day of her office job, maybe it was the mediocre success of her blog, or maybe it was because she had just spent two hours reading various writing magazines her aunt had just mailed to her. There seemed to be two common themes among the featured author’s personal history.  First, they had struggled with their writing career.  Second, after a long battle with alcoholism they recovered and found writing success.  Luckily, she was already struggling. She didn’t necessarily have a “career” to be struggling with, but her blog didn’t have the 1 million viewers she had hoped for.  Shoot for the stars, right?

The alcoholism part she would temporarily have to tuck in her back pocket as Plan B.

Plan A: Research and write until fingers bleed.
Plan B: Lose self and dignity in a bottle for an undetermined amount of time.

After a quick review, she decided she’d have to keep her day job no matter which plan she went with.  As she wrestled with this disappointing conclusion, she popped an M&M in her mouth, the chocolate-scotch. She had all the necessary tools to be a writer.  She had fingers, a brain, paper and a computer.  She had a skewed sense of priorities that allowed her to work on her writing during work time.  She had a boyfriend that preferred her to be quiet and writing.  Really, there was no reason for her to not be writing.

** 2/17/12

She looked around her apartment and decided that she would start this new journey with some redecorating.  The key to a writers success is feeling inspired and the drab decorations and hand me down furniture just wasn’t cutting it.  She needed a change.  She needed something so new and drastic that she would have no choice but to be creative and inspired.

She sat back and closed her eyes, placed her feet up on her table and hugged herself.  This is a good thinking pose.  It is also a good napping pose if her thinking stalls out, so it is dual purpose.  She thinks about her current relationship, so new and full of promise that she could lean that direction for inspiration.  However, if that relationship were to fail she would most definitely end up at Plan B much quicker than originally planned.

She would need to stay close to work, since she obviously needed funding to redecorate and fuel her soon to be fabulous writing career.  Scratch Paris off the list.  As she was contemplating her options, a thought floated across her brain.  There was the memory of a recent conversation with a dear friend about a new house and a possible room to rent in the basement.  At the time the first conversation happened, the thought of downsizing from a two bedroom duplex with a basement to a single bedroom in a basement was absurd.  Was this just the jolt she needed to shape the change she was looking to make in her life?

She would email her friend tomorrow and see if this idea actually had merit.  For now she would start looking around and determining what she would keep and what she would be willing to donate or sell.  Many of her pieces of furniture were large and heavy since they were old enough to be her best friends, if they were people and could talk.  Good thing that wasn’t the case or she would find herself in a padded cell counting tiles and singing Mary Had a Little Lamb.  I have no evidence to back this up, but I feel strongly that rocking in a cell and singing that song goes hand in hand.  Maybe while ripping the ears off a stuffed bunny.

She pulled herself back to the present moment with a shake and a laugh.  No wonder she was never very productive around the house.  Thinking of padded cells wasn’t going to get the laundry done or the floors vacuumed.  After taking one last look around her little abode, she turned off the lights and decided she wasn’t going to be doing any chores regardless of what she was thinking about tonight and turned on her favorite feel good movie; Underworld. 

Nothing like the epic battle of werewolves and vampires to put a girl’s life in perspective and make her happy for what she has.  I went to bed grateful for the sunlight, bolt locks and mortality.  Totally normal.

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