As I was having a tearful heart to heart with Jason last night over our kitchen counter, I stumbled around my words until the phrase, “I’m just tired of taking care of everyone else’s problems!” I realized it is a large part of what has been nagging at my mind lately.
I am the person who carefully considers the next steps I’m taking, who they might impact, and stepping accordingly. Sometimes I step lighter, more to the left, or with a huge leap and land with two feet. No matter how I proceed, I have taken the time to consider my path and those in the wake of it. I don’t want my decisions, maneuvers or leaps through life to throw someone else off their path, make them feel unimportant or not considered.
I am the first to admit that this also leads to excessive worrying and many sleepless nights if something I’m considering or doing has any kind of negative impact on someone else, or if I can’t foresee what the impact will be. I’d rather consider myself an empathic and compassionate person who worries a little too much, than an inconsiderate wildebeest that barrels through the wildflowers of other people’s life-gardens.
So, it obviously really bothers me when I have people in, or orbiting around, my life that are the opposite of all this. They imagine the sun rises and falls for them, that their shit don’t stink (as my dad used to say) and that their actions should be of no consequence to anyone else. They go about meandering through life with blinders on.
They might bump into a tree and think, oopsies and move on… not realizing they just knocked loose a hornets nest that is now chasing around the people around them. The screaming is not actually a cheer because they graced everyone with their presence… it’s screams of frustration and panic as they work to clean up the “blind” person’s mess.
I get tired of having to alter my path, navigate through their trail of shit, and pick up their litter. I understand that life isn’t fair. I don’t believe life is meant to be all unicorns that fart rainbows with fairy mermaid princesses riding side-saddle towards sunset. However, I do believe that if you are going to skip through life creating piles of shit where you go, take doggy bags with you or pooper scoopers and pick it up yourself. Don’t be so rude. One day you are going to need something from someone and they will be too busy scraping your shit off their shoe to be able to help.
I believe I’m done ranting now. The end.