As a typical human being and a woman, I am very good at being discontent with things and complaining about them. What is not going right is something that needs to be fixed, therefore gets our attention and energy. I complain out loud about these things as a way to vent and to let my thoughts tumble around until I can get a grip on some kind of plan. Sometimes, I do it just purely to vent about something I have no control over.
We do this especially with our relationships because the person we are deciding to share our lives with gets to do just that, share our life. Our mornings, afternoons, evenings, meals, bills, weather, driving, and many other things that can be easy targets and triggers for arguments and discontent. It’s not that we dislike our “other-half”, not at all. We love them very much. Even when we are nagging, we wouldn’t want to be nagging at anyone else. In fact we nag because we know they will still be there the next day even though we excessively talk AT them about things that we think need tweaking.
I am guilty about this and try to make an effort at times to balance that out and remind the man in my life of all the many ways in which he does good.
I’m throwing him a “job-well-done” bone. Chew it up… it’s juicy and rarer than it should be.
Good J quotes:
- “I love you with all my heart, which I’m sure is a normal size, but I think it is much bigger since I’ve been with you”
- “… but we did find each other and that is the best ever for me” (in response to me wishing we had found each other sooner)
- “I can’t wait to see my little Norwegian nut cracker” (in response to my referring to him as the Italian stallion)
- “I appreciate everything you do”
- “I love your smile”
- “You should have another, they are small” (in regards to anything chocolate-y, wine-y, or sparkle-y)
- Grocery shopping while I was busy and without asking getting loads of fruits, vegetables, lunch meat and all kinds of other wonderful and healthy things
- Getting me flowers 3 times now in 9 months
- Opening the pool early for me this year and breaking his “pool doesn’t open until memorial day” rule
- Remembering to give me the small plate when making dinner
- Adjusting meals so they are healthier (because my metabolism is a snail compared to his)
- Taking the time to wave to me during his hockey games
Sweet J Moments:
- Winking across the couch
- Holding my knee when we ride the motorcycle
- Opening doors for me (even though I make him go in first when we go somewhere new)
- Randomly paying for my morning coffee
- Not complaining once when my alarm goes off 1 hour before his so I can work out
- Trying new things with me
- Cuddling with his son on one side and me on the other and making sure we both get equal time
- Remembering what my favorite wine is
- Remembering to put an ice-cube in my coffee so I can drink it right away
- Never once getting overwhelmed or flustered when I start planning our wedding details out loud when we aren’t even engaged yet
In looking at this list, it is a prime example of how it really is just the little things that we do for each other that really light up our lives. The first flowers he ever sent me had a note that read, “have a good day! thinking about you and i love you”. It isn’t the flowers, it was the planning and follow through of thinking about me and wanting to show me that I was on his mind… that really was the gift that keeps giving long after the flowers die.
Girls are very complicated and simple creatures all at the same time. We want the world, but giggle and swoon over a tiny surprise like an extra cookie in our lunch. So, you can help us take over the world, but in the mean time make sure to keep us well fed and we will make the journey much more pleasant for everyone.