Fortune Cookie Blog**: In living rooms as in life, lighting is everything.

Aint that the truth?

** I recently made a fun purchase of a little book that contain’s year’s worth of fortunes.  Some days I really, really want to write about something… but all my creative and writing brain cells are on vacation and I just can’t get started.  I’ve decided this little book o’ fortunes, will work perfect for these types of occassions.

How we see things is determined by the lens’ we look through. 

  • Beer goggles lens: living for the moment with no care about 5 minutes from now let alone what life will look like in the morning.
  • Rose colored lens: seeing lions as puppies and electrical lines as streamers.  There are some benefits to being able to see and sense danger.
  • Glass half empty lens: If you’re looking down as you walk through the lawn of life, you’re going to see piles of poop.  If you’re focused on the bad, you’ll find it /step in it / smell like it.
  • I’m a fairy princess lens: reality is a bitch, but unfortunately bills come due, good things aren’t always free and frogs do not turn into prince’s.  Believing these things leads to lots of disappointment, and warts on your lips.
  • Black and white lens: while there is a benefit to seeing things exactly as they are, it’s kinda hard to tell chocolate ice cream and a raunchy pile of poop apart if you are only looking for things at their face value and without any room for other senses to help you interpret.
  • Love lens: Yes. His farts do smell.  Hockey trumps chick flicks. He is not a dog, “training him” will only end badly… for you.  You are who you are, he is who he is… you have both been perfecting it a long time. He isn’t a X-Man whose mutant power is rico-suave in 3.5 months.  Refer back to “I’m a fairy princess lens”.  If you wear these lenses together, you’re probably going to be an old cat lady who argues “wine and problem” don’t belong in the same sentence.
  • Glass-free lens: The glasses that will allow someone to actually poke out your eye while dancing around you and three-stooges-style giving your face the old 1-2.  While dangerous, this is really the way to go.  You can see things as they are.  Amazingly enough, life is pretty cool without amplification, modification or plumpification.

Life’s like that awesome movie that you don’t want to watch in 3D because it will probably make you vomit, but you like it so much you wish there was a sequel… but due to budgetary constraints set by the big G-O-D… you’re shit outta luck.  Watch it.  It’s a good one, and the lighting is even a little low so you can really settle in and comfortably enjoy it. 

Don’t throw m&m’s at the screen. 

It’s only funny till you’re caught.

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