The pits

You know what really stinks?  Skunks.

Besides that, it really stinks when as a usually optimistic, inspired and glass-half-full kind of person… I find myself in the dumps.  In a place where I don’t feel like I’m doing a good job personally or professionally.  Where I feel as though I’m lacking.  Not smart enough, nice enough, patient enough, kind enough, and on and on.

We just found out we aren’t getting raises at work.  I spilled a good portion of my coffee on my desk.  I looked down and realized I have enough husky fur on my black pants and black tank top to pass as an eskimo. 

I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.  I want to make more money so I’m not the one feeling financially strained constaintly.  I want to be a positive addition to work and home… not just an addition.  And lately I haven’t even felt like an addition, more like a subtraction.

I feel like indulging in my flair for the creative isn’t realistic and that I should focus on more important stuff.  The other reality is that life will go on with or without me, so I’m feeling rather small and insignificant today. 

Just feeling foolish and not needed.  — Which makes me feel like a weak and whiny person.  It’s a vicious cycle. 

{sigh}

Lots of feelings today.

Being a person is hard.

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