Dadisms

Anyone that knows my Dad knows that he is never at a loss for words.  Anyone that knows me, knows that I am my father’s daughter and have the same affliction.  I will share some of my most memorable dadisms from childhood…

“You mess with the bull you feel the horns”

This was always said after some lengthy rough-housing followed by me crying and holding some body part that is pointing the wrong way.  Dad would say, “see… you felt the horns”. 

“If if’s and but’s were cherries and nuts, we’d all be fat and happy”

This is no longer applicable.  If if’s and but’s were indeed cherries and nuts, we would all be thinner people.  I think this generation should change this to “If if’s and but’s could super-size and value meal me, we’d all be fat and happy.”

“No one will remember how fast you do it, they only remember how well”

{that’s what she said} This saying is the one that we would roll our eyes and all say together.  I know now that this is true, although many of my friends remember how fast I could eat bowls of spaghettios and macaroni and cheese in middle school… there wasn’t really a “and you did it so well” factor.

“People want to say yes to you, you just have to make it easy for them”

I have found this to be very valuable in the workforce.  If I can make something sound so appealing that someone else can’t say no, I’m golden.  However if I make it too appealing, not only do they say yes, but they take credit for the idea too.  So there is a balance to be had here.  Don’t make it too easy, it loses it’s value {that’s what she said}

“What possible good can come from being out after 9:00pm?”

Well, we’ll never know will we dad because I still don’t do that!  {cough, cough}

“What is wrong with you?”

You made me…

In response to me crying over some boy making me feel bad about myself…

“How dare you let some little puke make you feel bad about yourself.  Never let someone else dictate how you feel about yourself. You’re better than that.  What is wrong with you!”

I love you too? And again… you made me.

“Pull my finger”

We all know how this ends.

** Note, one time my Dad chased me around the house with his finger outstretched trying to hook it on my clothes to initiate the launch sequence of the fart stored up in his bowels.  I ran screaming, laughing and crying through the house, “I’m not pulling your finger!!!!”  This is was a character and lung building exercise.

“You will not sit back when you are 80 and think, well at least I made _______ happy, at the end of the day… you are the only one responsible for you.”

Best advice about making sure you take care of YOURSELF first during a relationship.  And so true… I pictured myself in a rocking chair on a porch with a voodoo doll and a big knife… “at LEAST you’re HAPPY…” {stab, stab, stab}.

“Having your girlie time is no excuse to act like this”

I still do not comprehend this statement nor see the validity in it. {stab}

“Ingrid Kareen…”

This isn’t ever good.  It usually is followed by a head slap.

“Alexandra Marie…”

If he is looking at me, he means… “Ingrid Kareen…” and it will still end in a head slap.  These things happen when you have more than 1 offspring apparently.

“Happy or Sad you decide”

This is always easier to understand and agree with when you are the former.  When you are the latter you want to stab him in the toe and tell him to be happy.

“I’m proud of you”

“I love you”

“Good job”

Some of the most meaningful words that come out of my Dad’s mouth.  They aren’t as frequent as some of the other dadisms, but when they are said I cherish them… ball them up and stick them in my pockets for rainy days.  Even at 31, my parent’s acceptance and love is of the utmost importance to me.  They did make me after all {you can thank them later} and I can never repay them for that.

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2 thoughts on “Dadisms

  1. Ingrid…………..this is great………some wonderful memories you shared. Isn’t it great to be a little older and be able to look back with love and laughter. Thank God none of us is perfect:-)

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