Chicken before the Egg

Or health before the scale…

I work out every morning.  I work out for 1 hour.  I make good food choices most of the time.  I occassionally indulge* in chocolate and wine when the occassion calls for it.  I manage my generalized anxiety disorder by doing everything I mentioned before this instead of taking medicine.

*Definition of INDULGE (

a: to give free rein to
b: to take unrestrained pleasure in
I used to not do most of these things.  I used to drink a lot more.  I used to over-indulge in cheese curds, macaroni and cheese, frozen pizzas and coldstone ice cream.  I used to have body image issues.  I used to suffer from an eating disorder. I used to be 40 pounds heavier. I used to take medicine every day for anxiety.

What’s the point of that? 

The point is that my current state (mental, physical and emotional) is good largely due to the choices I make every day.  The choice to do something for me.  Something I might not see the results of right away.  Sometimes choices I don’t like (3 oreos never seems like enough). I do it becauses I have to, if I want to have a happy life that I enjoy living and because I want to.

I’ve been asked recently (enough times to write about it):

“Why do you eat like that?” (referencing healthy tendencies)

“Why do you work out so much?” (referencing hour-long 5:00am zumba sessions, almost daily)

Both of those questions are followed by the sentence, “You’re already so skinny”.

Now, I know this should not annoy me so much, but it does.  NEWS FLASH: I didn’t always used to be this healthy {skinny}.  I have worked damn hard at it.  It’s a daily effort, a lifestyle and one that I enjoy.  It’s one that has me fitting into size 4 pants the other day, something I never thought would happen.  I am this skinny BECAUSE I eat like I do and work out as often as I do.  It didn’t just happen.  I didn’t stand in front of the mirror one day and go…

“Hmmm, muffin tops are so yesterday!  {nose wiggle} **POOF** = size 4(ish) = Booyah!”. 

Not. Realistic.

I looked at myself one day and didn’t like what I saw.  One day at a time, one habit at a time, one workout at a time and one conversation after another about “needing” another chocolate versus “wanting” one.  Years, and I mean years later… and here I am.  I lost in 10 or 15 pound spurts.  I’d hover there… relish my victories. Sometimes I’d go up.  Sometimes I’d go down.  I’d eventually realize I could do more, and I would drop a little more.

Long story long… I’m skinny because of obnoxious things like not eating the bun that comes with the burger, steamed veggies instead of fries, yogurt instead of m&m’s for an afternoon snack, walking 3 miles every day on vacation AFTER zumba’ing for 1 hour BECAUSE my Uncle Dick is the best friggin cook ever and is on a secret mission to make all other food insignificant.

{Don’t get me wrong, i’d fly back there tomorrow if i had the money… and I’d walk my happy ass 3 miles every day again… just to have some lasagna, mac and cheese, and cobbler.}

I was not born with this skinniness, it was not automagically an overnight change, I didn’t buy my way to this size and I certainly didn’t big mac my way into size 4’s…. although I’m sure I could super size my way right out of them if I’d like (which I wouldn’t).

So, to answer those people.  I’m skinny BECAUSE I eat like “that” and work out “so much”.  And I hope I am blessed with the ability to do so for a very long time and live a very long life {indulging in very good chocolate}. 

Peace out!  {rant. over.}

Me in Lake Placid {place of food and people awesomeness}


One thought on “Chicken before the Egg

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