Warm fuzzies, on a cloudy day

Yesterday, was almost 90 degrees and sunny.

Today, is 50-some degrees and cloudy.

Yesterday my mood was cloudy. It was a day where I wasn’t open to seeing the good, light and sparkly things around me. I felt physically weighed down by the emotional strain of situations around me.

My coping capacity on a scale of 1 to 10 was about a (-3). I couldn’t put my finger on what was pulling at my soul strings so much. I just felt lost, frustrated and defeated.

I tried to communicate some of my frustrations to my parents. They responded as most people would, a little defensive and returned their frustrations. My usual emotionally balanced self would have brushed off those responses. However the Ingrid of yesterday internalized, analyzed and took every comment to heart. This, did not help my situation.

On the way home from work Mom called to clear the air. {We don’t like conflict/confrontation/arguments}. We cried, laughed, cried, laughed, sweat {because of the crying} and laughed. We found our way through our emotions. Turns out I’m not the only one in emotional upheaval.

I went home and relayed the day and its frustrations to my boys. Jason listened and wiped away my tears. Vince seemed to take in the whole situation and understood that sometimes parents are weird. Jason gave me a big hug and Vince flew in to join in the action. It pretty much made my day.

Did they understand why I was upset? No, not really. Did it matter? Not at all. Jason had gotten me a little package of swedish fish. I shared with them. There was some wine left in the fridge. I did not share that. Vince mowed the lawn, Jason grilled the pork chops and added baseshoe around the baseboards and I walked around talking and healing.

After 3 delicious oreos (I eat one side of the cookie, lick out the center and then the other side of the cookie… so it seems more like 6.7 cookies instead of 3) Jason headed off to hockey and Vince and I bonded on the couch over bright-colored Nike shoes and cartoons.

By the time I went to bed I felt like my soul had quieted, my nerves were soothed and my heart was mending. I still don’t know exactly what sent me into an emotional spiral similar to a wicked tornado, but I do know that it worked itself out.

Today, is 50-some degrees and cloudy. I wouldn’t say I have a pocket full of sunshine, but I would say that I’m appreciating the clouds today more than I appreciated the sun yesterday because I’m in a better place to appreciate anything today.

Life has ebbs and flows. Ups and downs. Sometimes you have to cry it out, drink it up {1 glass of red wine or kiddie cocktail is prescribed here} and lick the center of some oreos before the storm blows over. The storm WILL blow over. Even if it doesn’t feel like it. I was so much more appreciate of Jason, Vince, my commute, etc this morning.  All because I couldn’t find it in my heart to appreciate things yesterday.

Without the dark, we wouldn’t appreciate the light.

No matter where you are in your journey today… either appreciate the light, or wait out the dark. Nothing is constant, things change. Appreciate where you are.


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