Deep thoughts, shallow subjects

Here is what is happening in my head the last couple days:

Concussed.

First of all after Jason and I managed to run into each other in the dark the other night… I mean full on, Americas funniest home video worthy, jackass 57 the movie outtake, walking into each other… I’m pretty sure I have a concussion.  Jason laughs, but I think it’s real.  Let’s look at the evidence.

  1. I’ve had a headache since the incident
  2. My little goose egg on my forehead still hurts like the dickens (yup, dickens)
  3. Yesterday I was nauseous off an on
  4. I’m not pregnant, so that is not an explanation of the nausea

I almost thought about going to the doctor today after I remembered that Liam Niesen’s wife had some kind of brain injury and waited it out only to keel over a couple of days later.  I’m prematurely planning my wedding that I’m not yet engaged for!  I have too much exciting stuff coming up to keep over into my morning oatmeal!  For the love of all that is right in this world…

Now, I’m sure I will be fine.  I have refrained thus far from calling any emergency numbers or demanding to be seen by a doctor.  I’m 100% sure I will get a prescription for Xanax as a reward for that coo-coo-cachoo move.

Fondue.

Monday I went out for Fondue at the Melting Pot with the girls.  It was the ladies night special.  Cheese, chocolate and wine… cheap?  It’s like a tangible heaven. Needless to say as the waitress is babbling on about who knows what, I’m concentrating on the 3 cups of cheese she is adding to the “melting pot”.  I’m thinking, there is no way we will eat all that cheese!  That is like 1 big ol’ cup of cheese per girl!

Pfff… we are Wisconsin!  We ate it all, even burned out tongues on the last bit.  The waitress took the plate away, first asking if we would like to scrape the pot clean.  She laughed, but I hadn’t thought of that option till she mentioned it, and then it became a real option.  I refrained.

The chocolate was poured and all the dipping favors brought out (bananas, strawberries, brownies, cheese cake, rice krispies, marshmallows, pound cake, {feel your thighs getting bigger?}) I think, we will not be able to finish all this!

But we do, and more.  There is chocolate left once all our dipping favors are gone and what’s a girl to do besides say YES to more dipping favors. 

The upside to the engorgement that happened was that you are literally to full to drink more than 1 glass of wine.  Plus you are so busy dipping, twirling and maneuvering tongs with cheese and chocolately nuggets of yummy that you just don’t have time to pause and dehydrate your body.

Now, the next morning the scale did not even budge.  Whoa.  Today (two days later) I am down 1 pound.  Universe, I’m reading you loud and clear!

Universe: “Ingrid, eat more chocolate and cheese”

Ingrid: “If you insist!”

Zombie Apocalypse.

On the way to work today there was a lot of traffic.  Enough traffic to add 20 minutes to my morning commute, make my back uncomfortable and my stomach grumbly.  The traffic guy happily announced that everything was going smoothly, this prompted me to wonder if he gets hate mail or flaming piles of poop on his front door step. 5 miles an hour, 0 miles an hour, 15 miles an hour, slam on the brakes, back to 5 miles an hour.

My highlight was seeing this truck:

 

image

Elfin Magic (or Effin as i read it)

And realizing that if at that moment a Zombie Apocalypse happened, I would hide in that truck and get fat on Keebler Fudge Cookies.  I would die a fat and happy person, or become a fudge-oozing zombie.  Either way, I was comforted by the thought.

Happy.

Wednesday.

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