You know how you have days where you feel on top of the world, like you hit every green light on the way to work, and even though you ate too much the night before… the scale is still kind to you in the morning? Those are nice. I haven’t had one of those in a while.
Don’t get me wrong, I definitely love my home, my fiance, my job, my life. It is just all a little hectic right now. I feel a little worn thin and like I am doing an awful lot of things… which is hard because I don’t feel like I’m doing any one of those things amazingly well. Anyone that knows me, knows I hold my feelings pretty close to the surface anyways… but lately I feel like I’m wearing them like a horrid giant hat… those big floppy ones with feathers and a birds nest! Like “hey look at me and my emotional constipation… yay!”.
I can totally see how people get caught up in life and don’t make time for themselves or the things that are important to them. Taking great pride in what you do is a blessing and a curse. Giving 110 percent to a job makes me feel great… taking that extra 10 percent from my family time… makes me feel less than great. The breaking point is when your 110 percent didn’t quite work out the way you planned, things still go wrong, there are still glitches and then there is the guilt that what you took time away from your family for… wasn’t quite good enough. Logically, I know that all sounds a bit dramatic, but it doesn’t change the way I feel about it all.
It’s all about perspective. I seem to be lacking in the perspective department these days. Hopefully there is a blue light special on it soon.