This year is definitely shaping up to be the year of growth for me. Not physically of course, I’ve been 5’4 since as long as I can remember… and that hasn’t changed… but growth emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc.
I’ve always had a fascination for “why”. Why do we do the things we do, think the things we think, act the ways we act… so when I find little nuggets of knowledge that explain some of that… it’s very exciting.
Some of my recent epiphanies have been:
- I don’t in fact have to share everything about what’s going on in my life with everyone. As a self-diagnosed “diarrhea of the mouth” sufferer, I tend to over-share about my life. My life is in fact my own, my journey is my own, and I can choose to share (or not)… This might seem obvious to some people, but to me it was like permission to keep my own secret until I was ready to share it. Which really felt like a gift to myself.
- Treating uncomfortable situations like experiments. Have you had situations in life that you weren’t sure how to get around, deal with, handle? Relationships, friendships, coworkers, careers…? Well, when it was suggested to me to treat how I dealt with just one of those things as an experiment to better understand myself, it was a HUGE relief. There was no longer a right or wrong way to do it… just different experiments that would either have results that I liked or I didn’t. This new lens at looking at perceived obstacles… was a welcome change for me! I like solving problems, so it changed my perspective from anxious and negative, to interested and curious to see the outcome.
- Finding my tribe. This, is something that sounds so awesome to me. I love the idea of finding my niche. However, I quickly discovered that sitting around waiting for my tribe to appear out of thin air… wasn’t how it worked. I then started just kind of awkwardly asking people to be a part of my tribe…. and let me tell you something… being a mid-30’s person asking for someone to in essence be your friend, is SUPER vulnerable. Even that wasn’t a wildly successful endeavor (as far as finding my tribe goes). The people that were open to it, didn’t just start calling me every day to be a part of my life. So, I found that (as with all things) I had to focus on myself. Once I was more clear on the vibe I wanted to put out, and more true to that vibe… my tribe would then form a bit more naturally than just crossing my fingers and hoping.
- Standing in my truth. What now? Since I’m a visual person, I imagine standing in truth cement. It’s a secure place that I want to discover, mold, create, where I can communicate more truthfully with others in my life. When I’m backed into an uncomfortable communication corner, I often resort to humor and/or sarcasm to deal with it. At the end of the day it does no one justice. I don’t feel good when I have not been my authentic self, and sending out mixed signals with humor/sarcasm don’t get me to the end result I want out of most situations.
- The scale is a fickle bitch and can’t be trusted. However, it can be used as an informational tool – if it must be used. I am an every day scale user. There is probably rehab for this sort of thing. I definitely in the past have been emotionally tied up in what the scale showed me in the morning. Since I started workout programs that included more weight lifting, I have a MUCH kinder relationship with the scale. I treat it more as, “oh, I did XXX yesterday and the scale did YYY this morning”. I’m not perfect, I still flip off the scale on mornings that I don’t like the numbers… my husband still offers to throw it in the trash and get a new one when I kick it and declare it must not be working right (he’s a good sport). However, about 80% of the time I just shrug it off now… which is a HUGE accomplishment for me.
There is something so emotionally cleansing about having epiphanies and “aha” moments. Moments where something that has been nagging at your subconscious because clear, anxious situations become bearable, and waffling on decisions turns into confident action. Those moments to me feel like soul massages. I feel lighter, less weighed down, and ready to take on whatever is next on this fantastical life journey.
Cheers to epiphanies, may they be pleasant and abundant!