I thoroughly enjoy deep diving into heart felt topics and soul shedding ideas… and I also enjoy the numbness of watching reality TV with a glass of wine and entertaining not a single deep thought.
I find that the more I know, the more weight I sometimes put on myself to DO something with that knowledge. The more tips, tricks, insights, nuggets of knowledge that rock my world… the more I feel like I’m not doing ENOUGH with that knowledge. What a funny place to be in sometimes.
It’s like the knowledge is taking the deepest breath, filling my lungs with ideas of magic and wonderment… and then holding it… Waiting for my outside world to start moving forward with the momentum of this knowledge like the wind behind the sails. Only I don’t physically move forward with the changes fast enough to keep my lungs from starting to burn from holding all these magically delicious ideas just a tad too long.
Since starting a real deep dive journey into learning more about myself, I’ve had this constant tug of war between expansion (growth, learning, enlightenment) and contraction (the mind and bodies desire to keep the status quo and reject change). I get so excited about the new things, and then want to put them into immediate action.
My fear is that if I don’t immediately act on these awesome revelations I have… that it will all just slip away and I will continue moving along in the same groove of life that I’ve already carved out for myself. Which is a beautiful groove… but there are bigger and more expansive grooves that I’d like to explore in this life. One where I’m badass-ier, kind-er, honest-er, and true-er to the beautiful soul that is “me” that is occupying this body during this life.
I don’t know that I have the answer to this, but I do know that I spend a lot of time giving myself permission to just chill the f*ck out and take a breath.
So cheers to internal growth, and also cheers to cutting ourselves a break when we feel like we have no fricken’ clue what to do with the excess growth sometimes! Finally, cheers to doing the best we can with what we know right now.