Poem – Note to myself 

During my retreat to Orlando this past weekend with some visionary and amazing ladies, I was asked to write a love note to myself. What felt right for me was a poem. Though I don’t normally write poetry, I’m quite infatuated with it and wanted to share, because when I was done it didn’t feel like it was just for me – but for anyone and everyone.

 

Dear one,

You have always been joyous and free

It is YOU, who were meant to be

Born a wild and wonderful child of the sea

 

Waves have rocked and shaped you

Stars have guided you

Winds have kept your navigation sure and true

 

Through mighty storms and disastrous droughts

You’ve always known what this world was about

Which is making sure your insides shine OUT

 

Giving to others the gifts that they need

To ensure, that though they might cut open and bleed

It was only the promise of hope, that was planted there as a seed

 

Love comes bursting from your heart

Your life is your art

Never doubt you were created perfect, right from the start

 

Could you use some Red Hot Sizzle in your life?

I personally have been touched by this beautiful program.  It’s a program put together for women who want more.  I didn’t know what to expect when I signed up a year ago, however one year later… I can say what I got.

I found a gentler me.

I found a me that believes in magic and the beauty of ALL women.

I found a me that looks around at the potential in others and the greatness in togetherness.

I found a kinder me.  Kinder to myself first, which then spread to kindness to those all around me.

I found myself allowing more gentleness, passion and play into my every day.

I found it okay to be vulnerable and became a seeker of more intimate and deep friendships and circles.

I found that at the end of the day – all things above have always been me… just covered up by years of being who I thought I should be.  Playing a role to best fit in.  Playing small to not stand out too much.  Playing it a bit safe at times even.  I found myself, and I loved what I found.

So… if you are interested, read the call to action below.  Know that geography isn’t a limiting factor.  Ladies from all over the country, and sometimes internationally have joined in on this program and were able to take advantage of its benefits.

Check out this program by my mentor Regena Garrepy. Registration closes this week!

The Red Hot Visionista Sacred Circle is beginning. If you have been a Red Hot fence-sitter, Visonista side-liner, or sacred circle onlooker and you have thought about joining us someday, consider this your heart felt invitation. Right now is when I ask you to look beyond the thoughts of not enough time or  money, not enough got it together or perfect timing. Consider this moment your soul nudge, your universal SIGN, that there is still a spot left for YOU. Put your stake in the ground and say YES to the red hotness inside you. Because the world (your family, your community, your soul) doesn’t need you to step up someday. It needs you right now. Click here to learn more:  https://form.jotform.com/62537123874156

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Choose wisely my friends…

I saw this picture today and was totally struck by the truth behind it!  You are the things you feed your mind, soul, and body. 

The exciting/scary thing behind this idea is that it is your choice!  Which means it is in your control. Which means you can elevate yourself to new heights (yay) or anchor yourself where you are (boo). 

So, if you’re feeling stuck or stagnant… make the conscious choice to feed your body, mind, and soul good vibes (tastes like Nutella). 

International Inspiration, growth, and sunburn. 

My first clue that I was heading back to real life was actually having to pay for my morning banana and water. After spending 5 days at an all inclusive resort in Cancun, Mexico where the water was handed out like candy at Halloween (as long as it was bottled, didn’t want to pull a Charlotte) and the food was abundant, it seemed natural to have a residual desire to just pick something up and walk away with it (a case of the sticky fingers). I left the resort feeling like royalty and I guess it takes a while to shake that off. Clearly the people at the Cancun airport aren’t aware of my recent royal status. I’m returning home with a couple additional tangible things. 

  • A healthy sunburn, despite my best Midwest attempts at multiple sunscreen applications. 
  • A pink and tan corona cowboy hat (this will make sense when I touch down in Wisconsin later where autumn is in full swing, but made total sense at the time of purchase poolside). 
  • A wooden carved turtle. Very delicate with intricate designs on the shell. I’m imaging that a local spent a good deal of time and poured love into making it. But for four American dollars, it could also be a oriental trading trinket as well. I will choose to believe the former. 

I also carry with me a few tokens and gifts from the other ladies of the retreat. Which, hands down are my most treasured additions. 

The other “stuff” I bring home is the intangible, the things only I can see and acknowledge… and thankfully don’t add weight to my luggage. The emotional, mental, spiritual, soul and waistline growth (again – all inclusive resort). The promise of hope and sensation of being about 17% more badass than when I landed here five days ago. 

There were a total of 18 in our little tribe at this retreat. Two fearless guides throughout the process and 16 other fearless women who eagerly and awesomely followed in every footstep… even if they couldn’t quite see where it would lead. 
The 16 of us grasshoppers came with open hearts, minds and sun sunscreen. We laughed, we cried, we sang, we danced, we crafted, we made promises to ourselves, we held hands, hugged, shared stories and sometimes shared silence. When all that was done, we shared dessert. 

If you are trying to visualize what this tribe of women might look like, go to Pinterest or Instagram and search for “tribe” or “friend goals”. Then, add more humans to that picture, vary the ages, races, economic means and body sizes. 

Once you have this group of women in your mind, strip them of their earlthy descriptions and just imagine 16 souls that decided to take the leap from stranger to soul sister. 16 souls that carved time out from their family, friends, hobbies and careers to invest in themselves and really dig into some deep shit. Imagine therapy without the couch, more magic, homework and then add chocolate. 

How did I even get into this beautiful cluster of growth?  One word: Cancun. I’d like to pretend my intentions were noble. That I signed up knowing that I had all this pent up possibility and purpose just waiting to be unleashed from my fingertips. But no. I saw pictures of super happy women, on the beach, having a wonderful time (and margaritas)… and I wanted in on that hot action. 

Imagine my surprise when I really started digging into the program and found out there would be work. Home work. Soul work. Tribe work. Booty work (jk… but there was dancing). I didn’t know I’d be holding the hands, secrets, fears and aspirations of these beautiful women throughout this process.. and then holding mine. Make no mistake, I definitely thought long and hard about it… then thought, “fuck it… what’s the worst that can happen?  I go to Cancun, meet some cool chicks, and maybe even become a better person???” I’ve signed up for worse things in the past. 

So… eight and a half months later with two retreats, many phone calls, and a few breakthrough and breakdowns in my rear view mirror, the question is… would I do it again?  Absofuckinglutely. I feel more spiritually flexible, I believe in a little more magic, and definitely have found a softness and kindness towards myself that I didn’t know before. This new kindness has allowed me to really feel that softness towards all the women in the world. Which has lead to more genuine interactions. More conversations rooted in integrity. A little less bull shit and a lot more fun. 

In summary – if you get the chance to do something that will make you feel wildly uncomfortable, question your core beliefs, and maybe go somewhere tropical with people who will be strangers when it all begins… 

DO IT. 

And send me an invite. 

Peace out. 

Epiphanies Abound…

This year is definitely shaping up to be the year of growth for me.  Not physically of course, I’ve been 5’4 since as long as I can remember… and that hasn’t changed… but growth emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc.

I’ve always had a fascination for “why”.  Why do we do the things we do, think the things we think, act the ways we act… so when I find little nuggets of knowledge that explain some of that… it’s very exciting.

Some of my recent epiphanies have been:

  1. I don’t in fact have to share everything about what’s going on in my life with everyone.  As a self-diagnosed “diarrhea of the mouth” sufferer, I tend to over-share about my life.  My life is in fact my own, my journey is my own, and I can choose to share (or not)… This might seem obvious to some people, but to me it was like permission to keep my own secret until I was ready to share it.  Which really felt like a gift to myself.
  2. Treating uncomfortable situations like experiments.  Have you had situations in life that you weren’t sure how to get around, deal with, handle?  Relationships, friendships, coworkers, careers…?  Well, when it was suggested to me to treat how I dealt with just one of those things as an experiment to better understand myself, it was a HUGE relief. There was no longer a right or wrong way to do it… just different experiments that would either have results that I liked or I didn’t.  This new lens at looking at perceived obstacles… was a welcome change for me!  I like solving problems, so it changed my perspective from anxious and negative, to interested and curious to see the outcome.
  3. Finding my tribe.  This, is something that sounds so awesome to me.  I love the idea of finding my niche.  However, I quickly discovered that sitting around waiting for my tribe to appear out of thin air… wasn’t how it worked.  I then started just kind of awkwardly asking people to be a part of my tribe…. and let me tell you something… being a mid-30’s person asking for someone to in essence be your friend, is SUPER vulnerable.  Even that wasn’t a wildly successful endeavor (as far as finding my tribe goes).  The people that were open to it, didn’t just start calling me every day to be a part of my life.  So, I found that (as with all things) I had to focus on myself.  Once I was more clear on the vibe I wanted to put out, and more true to that vibe… my tribe would then form a bit more naturally than just crossing my fingers and hoping.
  4. Standing in my truth.  What now?  Since I’m a visual person, I imagine standing in truth cement.  It’s a secure place that I want to discover, mold, create, where I can communicate more truthfully with others in my life.  When I’m backed into an uncomfortable communication corner, I often resort to humor and/or sarcasm to deal with it.  At the end of the day it does no one justice.  I don’t feel good when I have not been my authentic self, and sending out mixed signals with humor/sarcasm don’t get me to the end result I want out of most situations.
  5. The scale is a fickle bitch and can’t be trusted.  However, it can be used as an informational tool – if it must be used. I am an every day scale user. There is probably rehab for this sort of thing.  I definitely in the past have been emotionally tied up in what the scale showed me in the morning.  Since I started workout programs that included more weight lifting, I have a MUCH kinder relationship with the scale.  I treat it more as, “oh, I did XXX yesterday and the scale did YYY this morning”.  I’m not perfect, I still flip off the scale on mornings that I don’t like the numbers… my husband still offers to throw it in the trash and get a new one when I kick it and declare it must not be working right (he’s a good sport).  However, about 80% of the time I just shrug it off now… which is a HUGE accomplishment for me.

There is something so emotionally cleansing about having epiphanies and “aha” moments.  Moments where something that has been nagging at your subconscious because clear, anxious situations become bearable, and waffling on decisions turns into confident action.  Those moments to me feel like soul massages.  I feel lighter, less weighed down, and ready to take on whatever is next on this fantastical life journey.

Cheers to epiphanies, may they be pleasant and abundant!

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February Follies

Month two of 2016.  Today went pretty well as far as Mondays go!  Had a good work day, got laundry and dishes done early in the morning, got my workout(s) in, ate healthy all day, booked more stuff for my birthday trip to Napa Valley and also booked stuff for an awesome trip in March to celebrate awesome ladies supporting each other, networking, healing, learning, growing <– need I go on?  And… it’s in Orlando.  PS, that’s a helluva lot warmer than Wisconsin in March.

I have had so much on my mind lately.  The days are flying by and the nights are filled with weird stress dreams.  I have discovered a few things about myself lately…

  1. I do not like booking my own travel arrangements for vacations.  There are SO many options, prices, experiences, adventures… man oh man.  I’d much rather go on a structured/planned trip that someone else planned.  I have spent more hours thinking about and pondering what to do on my birthday trip to Napa, than I will actually spend in Napa!!  How crazy is that??  Lesson learned – just find a travel agent or friend that really digs that shit and just give them money or wine to do it for me.
  2. I am on a constant journey to better myself.  I am always open to ways to change, evolve, reflect, grow, enhance both myself and my life.  I hope this never changes, I enjoy flexing the muscles of my life to see where I can go and what I can do.
  3. I have a gum problem.  I chew like 8,371 pieces in a day when I’m stressed.  Is there support groups for this?
  4. I am so much more accepting of my body than I was even 6 months ago.  Focusing on eating clean and working out has given me such a different perspective and appreciation for my body and the things that it can do.  I take time every day to love all the bits!

Life has its ups and downs, and lately for me life has had many more ups than downs.  I’ve been really trying to find ways to fully appreciate and acknowledge this phenomenon since I know that might not always be the case :)  Appreciating the small things and each other.

Also – trying to be the biggest, best, badassiest version of myself that this universe will allow!  Which, is a pretty damn cool thing to think about every day.

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Being the best me.

So, I have found recently that pretty much most of what I do with my time (outside of the essential functions of eating, sleeping, etc) has to do with being the best version of me that I can be.

Which, as far as revelations go… is a good one!  Not only is it how I spend a lot of my time, but it is definitely one of my favorite ways to spend my time.  I really like reflecting on who I am, how I’m living this life, and how I impact those around me. Accepting and owning that I am a constant work in progress, means that I am that much more open to accepting my flaws, limitations and shortcomings… because being open to them also means being open to adjusting the behaviors and attitude that perpetuates those weaknesses (real or perceived) that I have.

Along with this revelation came another super important one for me… the more I focused on being the best me… the better friend, wife, sister, daughter, aunt, coworker, etc… I became.  As I was taking time to reflect and focus on my life, health, happiness… I was also just evolving into a gentler version of myself.  I have found myself more prone to forgiveness and general feelings of well-being.  I’ve taken time to sit and look around and be truly thankful and grateful for where I am in life.

So, not only am I healthier (because I’ve been doing a pretty dedicated fitness routine and following a eating program), motivated and inspired (making a purposeful effort to search out and follow inspirational and positive people), happier and more content in general… I’m also still open every single day to learning more about myself, the world I’m living in now, and how I can be a better version of me tomorrow than I was today.

It’s a pretty neat place to be in!

Cheers to being the best versions of ourselves, for ourselves.