One of the things that I find the most interesting about being a consultant is that you start new jobs (without being fired or quitting) pretty regularly. Inherently the act of starting over at a new company, with a new culture, and new human counterparts is always a little stressful. Even though it can be a stressful time, I have also found it to be a blessing.
What is the blessing in starting over? Well, it challenges and stretches me to believe in myself. To know that every time I’ve started somewhere new, I didn’t know the culture, the humans, the geography (if I’m traveling) or even the details of the work I’d be doing. Those facts eventually changed and I learned, adapted and was successful in each endeavor. I keep proving to myself that there is nothing I can’t learn, handle, or google… to meet my goals.
When I’m approaching a transition to a new client, I often end up in this cycle of stress > gratitude > acceptance > stress > gratitude… etc. I find myself being my biggest cheerleader and critic, in a healthy way… not in a multiple personality kind of way. I challenge myself to remember my awesomeness, but allow for some stress/apprehensiveness as well because in a managed fashion it allows me to be better prepared when I do start.
The biggest “bonus” of this cycle is that I have very little fear of ending a contract. I have faith that everything will work out and that I will find the work I need to find (if necessary) and I hold myself capable of staying employed with the right companies, the right projects and the right people… at the right time.
The super secret bonus to flexing my “believing in myself” muscles is that it doesn’t just stop with my employment. These exercises leak out into the other areas of my life and allow me to face uncertainty and change in my personal life with a little more calm and steadiness that otherwise.
All that to say that I appreciate the challenges that this career has sent my way and the growth I’ve experienced because of it. I am pretty darn proud of myself and the person I’m becoming every day.
If I loved myself unconditionally… I would definitely be more comfortable in my body.
I spend so much time wasting precious brain cells trying to be comfortable in my body where it is in this moment in life. Logically I know that it is a waste of time, but I think there is something to be said about the technology at our fingertips and the images we are inundated with. So, while I think I look fine… then I look at Pinterest to get ideas for work outfits and feel like 90% of the results wouldn’t look good on someone who has such a fondness for Wine and Nutella…. like myself.
So, I’ve actually been making this a focus of mine lately (not wine and Nutella… because that’s always a focus of mine). I’ve been focusing on being more grateful to my body and what it can do for me. I would like to spend my time focusing on this deliciously adventurous thing called life…. than focusing on losing a couple inches in middle section of my body.
So… here’s to playing with balance and priorities and landing somewhere in the middle.
When I’m in pain — physical or emotional — the kindest thing I can do for myself is…
Be kind to myself.
Seems simple, but we (I) are our own worst critics. We think we shouldn’t be slowed down or hindered by physical or emotional disruptions in the force (haha). But seriously, as my life coach always reminds me… being kind to myself is the best gift I can give to myself.
If a good friend or family member was going through the exact same struggles I am, I would see all the brave and beautiful things about that person and would urge them to be kind to themselves. So, the challenge to myself is to see the brave and beautiful things about myself during times of struggle… and be kind. And maybe watch a harry potter marathon. ;)
I couldn’t imagine living without:
I am always so thankful for the comforts of the life I’ve been blessed to live. So I can’t imagine living without a roof over my head, running water at my fingertips, heat (heated blankets, a heated house, warm clothes, warm blankets), electricity, always having food available when I’m hungry, ability to work and support my family and having a healthy body that allows me to live the life I choose to live.
I am also thankful for a wonderful family and extended family, friends and all the souls that touch my life.
I couldn’t imagine my life without you.
I have decided to get back on the wagon of writing in here more consistently. To help with that I’m going to use this list of 30 journaling topics to get the writing juices flowing every day. I’m looking forward to the challenge and accountability factor… now that I’ve posted on here that I’m going to do it.
List of 30 topics:
- My favorite way to spend the day is…
- If I could talk to my teenage self, the one thing I would say is…
- The two moments I’ll never forget in my life are… Describe them in great detail, and what makes them so unforgettable.
- Make a list of 30 things that make you smile.
- “Write about a moment experienced through your body. Making love, making breakfast, going to a party, having a fight, an experience you’ve had or you imagine for your character. Leave out thought and emotion, and let all information be conveyed through the body and senses.” (A prompt from Barbara Abercrombie’s creative book Kicking In The Wall: A Year of Writing Exercises, Prompts and Quotes To Help You Break Through Your Blocks And Reach Your Writing Goals.)
- The words I’d like to live by are…
- I couldn’t imagine living without…
- When I’m in pain — physical or emotional — the kindest thing I can do for myself is…
- Make a list of the people in your life who genuinely support you, and who you can genuinely trust. (Then make time to hang out with them.)
- What does unconditional love look like for you?
- What would you do if you loved yourself unconditionally? How can you act on these things whether you do or don’t?
- I really wish others knew this about me…
- Name what is enough for you.
- If my body could talk, it would say…
- Name a compassionate way you’ve supported a friend recently. Then write down how you can do the same for yourself.
- What do you love about life?
- What always brings tears to your eyes? (As Paulo Coelho has said, “Tears are words that need to be written.”)
- “Write about a time when work felt real to you, necessary and satisfying. Paid or unpaid, professional or domestic, physical or mental.” (Also a prompt from Abercrombie’s Kicking in the Wall.)
- Write about your first love — whether a person, place or thing.
- Using 10 words, describe yourself.
- What’s surprised you the most about your life or life in general?
- What can you learn from your biggest mistakes?
- I feel most energized when…
- “Write a list of questions to which you urgently need answers.” (This is probably my favorite prompt from Abercrombie’s book.)
- Make a list of everything that inspires you — from books to websites to quotes to people to paintings to stores to the stars.
- What’s one topic you need to learn more about to help you live a more fulfilling life? (Then learn about it.)
- I feel happiest in my skin when…
- Make a list of everything you’d like to say no to.
- Make a list of everything you’d like to say yes to.
- Write the words you need to hear.
It’s been a minute since I’ve written on here (or however many minutes are between the end of March and now…). But I had the itch to write today after my morning walk break. ~
Brene Brown writes that comparison is the thief of Joy. I agree. I also agree that alternately compassion is the KEY to Joy. I have been actively practicing more compassion for others in my life (a product of my life coaching group) and it has been a really beautiful thing. It has forced me to put my ego aside and understand where someone else might be coming from and find a way to see things from their point of view. It doesn’t always immediately feel fulfilling and wonderful to practice compassion; but I can say that at the end of the day I have a lot less angst and resentment coming home with me. It definitely takes the ego out of the moment to not take things so personally. I have thoroughly enjoyed the challenge of trying to practice these new skills every day. I wish I could say that I was a happy and compassionate person every day… “I woke up like that”. But that would be false. It is definitely an easier tool to use with practice and I believe my overall human experience has been made better for actively and purposefully practicing things like love, compassion, tolerance, understanding and self-reflection. When you have more compassion for others, you have more compassion for yourself. Which makes you happier… and thus the circle continues.
So – just a little nugget of thought for this fine Tuesday afternoon… have a little compassion for the other squishy humans in your life. Human-ing is hard.
We are all doing the best we can… with what we have… at this very minute.
Does anyone else think about chopping off their hair at least once a day. I’ve been going back and forth every day between “I’m going to cut all this off” and “but it takes so long to grow back out”.
I loved when my hair was shorter. It felt funky and I felt like I wore it down and/or actually did my hair more often.
However when my hair is long I like the way that looks as well. I’ve always thoughts beachy waves were a-maz-ing looking and even though my hair is naturally straight as a board, it still is a idea in the back of my mind that I could have long mermaid-ish beach hair… if only I had the patience to get there.
So – the question is… choppy choppy, or patience / mermaid hair… in training?
You know, the normal questions that keep a girl up at night.