Could you use some Red Hot Sizzle in your life?

I personally have been touched by this beautiful program.  It’s a program put together for women who want more.  I didn’t know what to expect when I signed up a year ago, however one year later… I can say what I got.

I found a gentler me.

I found a me that believes in magic and the beauty of ALL women.

I found a me that looks around at the potential in others and the greatness in togetherness.

I found a kinder me.  Kinder to myself first, which then spread to kindness to those all around me.

I found myself allowing more gentleness, passion and play into my every day.

I found it okay to be vulnerable and became a seeker of more intimate and deep friendships and circles.

I found that at the end of the day – all things above have always been me… just covered up by years of being who I thought I should be.  Playing a role to best fit in.  Playing small to not stand out too much.  Playing it a bit safe at times even.  I found myself, and I loved what I found.

So… if you are interested, read the call to action below.  Know that geography isn’t a limiting factor.  Ladies from all over the country, and sometimes internationally have joined in on this program and were able to take advantage of its benefits.

Check out this program by my mentor Regena Garrepy. Registration closes this week!

The Red Hot Visionista Sacred Circle is beginning. If you have been a Red Hot fence-sitter, Visonista side-liner, or sacred circle onlooker and you have thought about joining us someday, consider this your heart felt invitation. Right now is when I ask you to look beyond the thoughts of not enough time or  money, not enough got it together or perfect timing. Consider this moment your soul nudge, your universal SIGN, that there is still a spot left for YOU. Put your stake in the ground and say YES to the red hotness inside you. Because the world (your family, your community, your soul) doesn’t need you to step up someday. It needs you right now. Click here to learn more:  https://form.jotform.com/62537123874156

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In other news…

Lately it’s seems like there is so much drama in the lbc…

No, but really. Im not immune to the emotions that are running through our country/state/community right now. From rage to elation, from depression to indifference, from desperation to determination. 

This isn’t a post to tell anyone how to feel or even share how I feel (politically/emotionally/mentally/hungrily) because there’s so much of that being shared already on social media. 

It’s just to say that I’m just over here still eating too much Nutella. Working out every day. Sipping my wine. Loving my friends and family. Trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Watching more of the TV show ‘Cops’ than most grown ups probably do. Taking all the pictures of my dogs. Trying to be the best wife, step mom, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, employee… ME… that I can be. I hope some of those efforts leak out onto the people I meet and brightens their days. 

Let’s all leak a little goodness on other people. 


And eat more Nutella. 

Tis the season!

Wrapping up one year and looking forward to the next. What an interesting process. I remember many years where I couldn’t wait for the fresh start that a new year would bring. Funny how optimistic I always am at this time of year considering I live in Wisconsin and the new year just means 4 more months of cold weather. 

This year however I am just truly thankful and blessed to have experienced all the days in this year so far. I’ve experienced so much growth in so many areas. 

This year marked 5 years of togetherness with my husband and 2 years of marriage. It has seriously flown by.  I’m so thankful for us and hope we continue to share many more trips around the sun together. 

I attended a life and business coaching group for 9 months out of the year that totally changed my perspective on many areas of my life. It’s helped me declutter, repriorotize, rediscover and challenge my thoughts and beliefs. 

I enjoyed my 2nd full year of consulting on my own. It’s been such a rewarding experience and opportunity to work on different projects with different people. Definitely a different kind of education. I’ve really started to appreciate and acknowledge what I can add to a team and project. Being my own cheerleader has been such a blessing. 

My step-son turned 14 and watching him grow and discover himself is something I’m thankful to be a part of every day. He’s such a blessing and gives me perspective and many learning experiences. 

We spent the year focusing on our finances and now find ourselves debt free (except for our home). This is such a freeing accomplishment and it takes so much pressure of our career choices and really allows us to enjoy our 9-5’s more since we don’t feel trapped by them. 

I was diagnosed with Ménière’s disease in August. An inner ear disorder that causes ear ringing, vertigo and nausea. By cutting out caffeine and sodium I’ve managed to control the symptoms (and my anxiety around the sparadic nature of the episodes). So, yay. 

I traveled to Napa (CA), Orlando (FL), Mexico, Lake Placid (NY), Door County (WI), Rockville (MD) and of course Cleveland and Cincinnati for work. I enjoyed every trip and was lucky enough to spend time with great people and make wonderful memories at each location. Not to mention some good food too. 

We took down a wall (thanks HGTV for the words “open concept”, repainted most of the main level, filled a dumpster of crap to declutter the house, and put in new vinyl wood planks instead of the old carpet. 

I started and cancelled a wine club. I started and cancelled a fitness subscription. I gave up giving up Nutella. 

And so many other wonderful things… with wonderful people. 

With only two weeks left in this year, I have nothing but gratitude and love for 2016 and can only imagine what 2017 will bring… and I look forward to finding out. 

Expansion and Contraction

I thoroughly enjoy deep diving into heart felt topics and soul shedding ideas… and I also enjoy the numbness of watching reality TV with a glass of wine and entertaining not a single deep thought.

I find that the more I know, the more weight I sometimes put on myself to DO something with that knowledge.  The more tips, tricks, insights, nuggets of knowledge that rock my world… the more I feel like I’m not doing ENOUGH with that knowledge.  What a funny place to be in sometimes.

It’s like the knowledge is taking the deepest breath, filling my lungs with ideas of magic and wonderment… and then holding it… Waiting for my outside world to start moving forward with the momentum of this knowledge like the wind behind the sails.  Only I don’t physically move forward with the changes fast enough to keep my lungs from starting to burn from holding all these magically delicious ideas just a tad too long.

Since starting a real deep dive journey into learning more about myself, I’ve had this constant tug of war between expansion (growth, learning, enlightenment) and contraction (the mind and bodies desire to keep the status quo and reject change).  I get so excited about the new things, and then want to put them into immediate action.

My fear is that if I don’t immediately act on these awesome revelations I have… that it will all just slip away and I will continue moving along in the same groove of life that I’ve already carved out for myself.  Which is a beautiful groove… but there are bigger and more expansive grooves that I’d like to explore in this life.  One where I’m badass-ier, kind-er, honest-er, and true-er to the beautiful soul that is “me” that is occupying this body during this life.

I don’t know that I have the answer to this, but I do know that I spend a lot of time giving myself permission to just chill the f*ck out and take a breath.

So cheers to internal growth, and also cheers to cutting ourselves a break when we feel like we have no fricken’ clue what to do with the excess growth sometimes!  Finally, cheers to doing the best we can with what we know right now.

Positivity Takes Practice

I discovered years ago that your attitude and outlook on life greatly depends on what you spend your energy on.  This might seem like a totally obvious statement, and I would agree, but would argue that it is something that is so obvious… it’s easy to overlook.

I discovered that how I spent my spare time greatly influenced my mood.  I mean even the silly things like the conversations I chose to have, the images I chose to look at via Pinterest/Instagram/Google searches, the books I read, the movies I watched, and most importantly how I talked to myself as well.

If I spent my energy telling myself stories about how retched the world was, how evil my friends were, how the universe conspired against me… OF COURSE I then walked around with my tin foil hat and gun set to stun.  Any action that happened around me was seen through this Darth Vader type lens I was wearing.  You were either with me, or against me.  How DRAINING it was.  I spent more time conspiring than inspiring, which just equals a big fat waste of time.

So, I started spending my time with people who I aspired to be like, the kind of people that sent out that vibe of ease and acceptance of the world.  I started doing hobbies that tapped into my creativity and made me feel good about myself. I started assuming the best, and stopped the bullshit stories.  Okay, well… maybe I’m a good story teller, so I still circle a bit in fantastical fucked up stories… but in general catch myself and stop it before it can seriously alter my mood for the day.

This choice of how / who / when / what to spend my energy on… has been a game changer for me.  As I get older, I only find better ways to spend my energy.  It’s like, the more efficient I get at being positive, the more energy I have available to me to do cool shit!!  It’s a very rewarding system.  However, it is still a act that takes practice. Daily conscious practice to be positive.  CHOSE to spend my time in a way that best puts me in the path of my dreams and aspirations.  Because, I’m really hoping to continue to grow, change, and be more awesome every day/week/year of my life… and I can’t imagine doing that if I’m leaking negative energy all over the place.

So, cheers to positivity.  May it be a happy practice that everyone can incorporate into their daily lives.  I personally find that laughter, good souls, wine, cheese, and chocolate can be gateways into positivity… in case you are struggling to find it.

My Aunt, myself and my Grandmother.  A couple people who know how to radiate positivity and love.

My Aunt, myself and my Grandmother. A couple people who know how to radiate positivity and love.

Don’t worry, no one else knows what the f*ck they are doing either. 

One of the best tidbits of advice I got was given to me by my cousin Carmen 15 years ago while I was first navigating the corporate world and figuring out which jobs I was “qualified” for.

She told me that no one knows exactly how to do a job they are applying for. Also, how boring would that be. I promise that the other people in this world that are doing the thing you want to do, didn’t know how to do it when they started. 

The people who end up with their next ‘big gig’ have faith in themselves and their abilities that they will figure it out.

This little tidbit has gotten me through so many new adventures in my life that seemed scary at first. I just focus on what I want, the resources I have, and ALWAYS keep my communication skills and personal development as top priorities. The exact “how’s” just come with time. 

So – grasshopper – go for the promotion, better job, dream vacation, first date, sell the house, start the new hobby or whatever it is that you have been yearning to do… but have convinced yourself you can’t. 

Because… why not you? Why not now?

And just remember, no one else knows what the fuck they are doing either. 

Ear Updates and all that Jazz

Well, back to the thing that has consumed much of my thoughts lately… my dumb ear and its inability to get its shit together.

Saw an ENT at the UW Madison yesterday and they were able to confirm that I have some slight hearing loss in my right ear.  They expect that it will fluctuate (get better and get worse) as the episodes of ear ringing / nausea / vertigo / ear fullness continue to happen.

The diagnosis is Endolymphatic Hydrops.

Endolymphatic hydrops refers to a condition of increased hydraulic pressure within the inner ear endolymphatic system. Excess pressure accumulation in the endolymph can cause a tetrad of symptoms: (1) fluctuating hearing loss, (2) occasional episodic vertigo (usually a spinning sensation, sometimes violent), (3) tinnitus or ringing in the ears (usually low-tone roaring), and (4) aural fullness (eg, pressure, discomfort, fullness sensation in the ears).

There is a chance it is Meniere’s Disease, but that official diagnosis comes after a few more tests rule out anything else.

Whether it’s Endolympatic Hydrops or Meniere’s really almost doesn’t matter because either way there isn’t really a “cure” and the treatment is the same.  Since they don’t really know what causes it, and can’t really predict “episodes” (a combination of the 4 symptoms listed above)… there isn’t anything I can take (like a magic bean) that makes it go away.

They recommend a low salt diet (under 1500mg), which surprisingly (and luckily) isn’t that hard when I’m really watching what I’m eating.  I already make most of my food at home and most of it pretty natural, so that isn’t so much of a game-changer.  They also recommend keeping caffeine and alcohol to a minimum. Which might sound bad to someone who does not get stricken with vertigo that moves the whole friggin’ world, but it all seems reasonable to me if it means longer spells in between episodes.

I’m still working out almost every day since that is recommended as well, gives your brain more information. You know like, “hey brain, lookey here… I’m not continuously on a roller coaster, nope nope”.  More brain info = good stuff in the long run.  I also journal so I can see the patterns in ear ringing (most common of my symptoms, about every other day), vertigo, nausea, etc.

All that being said, I had another episode this morning, the second ‘big’ one in two weeks, and it was just as awful as the first one.  I rolled over in bed around 5am and went from, “ugh, my ear is still ringing” to “for the love of god someone is playing basketball with the earth” to “I wonder if I can vomit here?” to “Who cares <insert tossed cookies>”.  Luckily I felt surprisingly good about two hours later.  Still very tired from the stress of my body not knowing WTF is going on… but other than that pretty decent.

So, since I have very little control over what’s happening… I’m trying my best to stay positive, mindful, in the moment… yadda yadda.  Some days are better than other days.  And some days are a mix of good and bad.

Luckily I still have 10 fingers, 10 toes, m&m’s don’t have a ton of sodium, and a sparkling sense of humor.  So, it could be worse… m&m’s could be high in sodium.