I know I skipped 5… I’ll circle back around to it.
The words I’d like to live by are:
Self-love, self-compassion and self-kindness shine out from you. You cannot love, be kind or have compassion for others if you don’t do it yourself. LOVE YO’ SELF.
Moment 1: Standing in the Barn during my wedding late at night.
I took one moment to stand apart from everyone and take in the moment. Thinking to myself… this is MY day. And just being filled with such gratitude and joy for all the people who made that day the BEST day. I will never forget standing there and being filled with such pure love and joy.
Moment 2: Pep talk from my cousin Carmen
I was at a high school dance. I had been shut down or pushed out of a group and was feeling bad about myself. My cousin Carmen came over and gave me the best pep talk. She basically let me know that I was awesome and everyone else’s opinion did not matter (she used shorter words that rhymed with curse words… or maybe they were just curse words). Long story short… someone who I loved and admired told me I was worth all the awesomeness.
I know the challenge is to write two moments, but I have so many. So many special memories of my amazing family. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Siblings and Parents… have all blessed me with their time and love. I am a blessed human and having to choose just two moments reminds me how very blessed I am… because I have HUNDREDS of special moments.
If I could talk to teenage Ingrid, I would give her the biggest hug. I would tell her that she is whole and complete just the way she is. That being “herself” no matter what that looks like through the years to come is just the person she is supposed to be… so stop sweating the small stuff. I remember always feeling like the outsider, the person who didn’t belong. I remember longing for a place to always “fit in”. So, I’d also tell myself that I do fit in… right in my own body and soul. Fitting in with yourself is SO important. If you can’t accept, love and belong to yourself… it becomes so hard to fully accept and love others. It’s a circle that needs to be even and fed… love for yourself feeds love for others.
I have decided to get back on the wagon of writing in here more consistently. To help with that I’m going to use this list of 30 journaling topics to get the writing juices flowing every day. I’m looking forward to the challenge and accountability factor… now that I’ve posted on here that I’m going to do it.
List of 30 topics:
- My favorite way to spend the day is…
- If I could talk to my teenage self, the one thing I would say is…
- The two moments I’ll never forget in my life are… Describe them in great detail, and what makes them so unforgettable.
- Make a list of 30 things that make you smile.
- “Write about a moment experienced through your body. Making love, making breakfast, going to a party, having a fight, an experience you’ve had or you imagine for your character. Leave out thought and emotion, and let all information be conveyed through the body and senses.” (A prompt from Barbara Abercrombie’s creative book Kicking In The Wall: A Year of Writing Exercises, Prompts and Quotes To Help You Break Through Your Blocks And Reach Your Writing Goals.)
- The words I’d like to live by are…
- I couldn’t imagine living without…
- When I’m in pain — physical or emotional — the kindest thing I can do for myself is…
- Make a list of the people in your life who genuinely support you, and who you can genuinely trust. (Then make time to hang out with them.)
- What does unconditional love look like for you?
- What would you do if you loved yourself unconditionally? How can you act on these things whether you do or don’t?
- I really wish others knew this about me…
- Name what is enough for you.
- If my body could talk, it would say…
- Name a compassionate way you’ve supported a friend recently. Then write down how you can do the same for yourself.
- What do you love about life?
- What always brings tears to your eyes? (As Paulo Coelho has said, “Tears are words that need to be written.”)
- “Write about a time when work felt real to you, necessary and satisfying. Paid or unpaid, professional or domestic, physical or mental.” (Also a prompt from Abercrombie’s Kicking in the Wall.)
- Write about your first love — whether a person, place or thing.
- Using 10 words, describe yourself.
- What’s surprised you the most about your life or life in general?
- What can you learn from your biggest mistakes?
- I feel most energized when…
- “Write a list of questions to which you urgently need answers.” (This is probably my favorite prompt from Abercrombie’s book.)
- Make a list of everything that inspires you — from books to websites to quotes to people to paintings to stores to the stars.
- What’s one topic you need to learn more about to help you live a more fulfilling life? (Then learn about it.)
- I feel happiest in my skin when…
- Make a list of everything you’d like to say no to.
- Make a list of everything you’d like to say yes to.
- Write the words you need to hear.
This is a good one.
I just got back from spending seven days in Mexico with a bunch of amazing women. We spent time at the beach, at the pool, in sessions together, and lots of time laughing. That was a beautiful experience… however my favorite way to the spend the day is still relaxing somewhere that feels like home.
Here is how my perfect day would go:
- I’d wake up without an alarm clock, but still around 7am because mornings are my favorite.
- I’m also clearly not working on my favorite day, which should be obvious… but I’ll call it out here just in case.
- I’d put on some comfortable clothes, throw on some warm slippers and beach wave my hair (because I like when it has a little volume… even when I’m relaxing).
- I’d let the dogs in who are so sweet and lazy in the morning.
- I’d have a coffee and an apple cider donut in my kitchen with the morning sunlight streaming in from outside… wrapped in a blanket and fending off Mya’s advances towards me and my donut.
- I’d spend some time watching whatever I wanted in the morning on the TV (because most likely Jason and/or Vincent are still sleeping) and checking my phone far too much.
- I’d put on some workout clothes and take the dogs for a walk… because on my favorite day it is super pleasant outside.
- I’d probably have some kind of avocado chicken sandwich/wrap for lunch with some fruit and then some chocolate(s). If this favorite day is not totally grounded in reality… then I’d really like tiramisu as my dessert… but it would have to be straight from Italy.
- I’d definitely do something crafty (make a necklace, paint something, read a book)… probably while enjoying a glass of wine.
- I’d also have some kind of epic series on my laptop to listen to while crafting (LOTR, Hobbit, Harry Potter, Alien, Underworld, Resident Evil, etc, etc). — Jason will be in his happy place playing his video game on the main tv.
- I’d probably take a nap while crafting – on accident or on purpose. With all the windows open and a beautiful breeze blowing through (and Jason would kill any fly that threatened my slumber).
- I’d invite friends and family over to do crafty relaxy things with me.
- I’d light the best smelling candle, probably from Bed Bath and Beyond.
- Jason and I would enjoy a nice dinner which he makes on the grill because he is the grill master and the smell of a charcoal grill is divine.
- All my Pottery Barn candles would have turned around by dinner time and they will be flickering with the most delightful fake flames.
- Then we would sit around the fire at night and listen to music and relax. I’d be wrapped up in my most cozy blanket and when I was tired would have the short commute of walking to my bedroom.
- My friends and family have all gone home or crashed on the couch before I go to bed… or I kick them out when I’m tired because it’s MY favorite day… which has an early bedtime too.
- On my favorite day I’ve also been taking the best pictures all day long and posting them on all the social media because I love to share.
It’s been a minute since I’ve written on here (or however many minutes are between the end of March and now…). But I had the itch to write today after my morning walk break. ~
Brene Brown writes that comparison is the thief of Joy. I agree. I also agree that alternately compassion is the KEY to Joy. I have been actively practicing more compassion for others in my life (a product of my life coaching group) and it has been a really beautiful thing. It has forced me to put my ego aside and understand where someone else might be coming from and find a way to see things from their point of view. It doesn’t always immediately feel fulfilling and wonderful to practice compassion; but I can say that at the end of the day I have a lot less angst and resentment coming home with me. It definitely takes the ego out of the moment to not take things so personally. I have thoroughly enjoyed the challenge of trying to practice these new skills every day. I wish I could say that I was a happy and compassionate person every day… “I woke up like that”. But that would be false. It is definitely an easier tool to use with practice and I believe my overall human experience has been made better for actively and purposefully practicing things like love, compassion, tolerance, understanding and self-reflection. When you have more compassion for others, you have more compassion for yourself. Which makes you happier… and thus the circle continues.
So – just a little nugget of thought for this fine Tuesday afternoon… have a little compassion for the other squishy humans in your life. Human-ing is hard.
We are all doing the best we can… with what we have… at this very minute.